Does life revolve around “Permanent Records” and Obituaries?
I don’t know what the practice is today but when I was growing up, schoolteachers and principals always held the threat of my “Permanent Record” over my head like a hammer.
Whenever I misbehaved or even when they suspected that mere thoughts of misbehavior were rattling through my brain, they would threaten me with, “You know this will go on your Permanent Record”.
A student’s Permanent Record attained status with God’s Book of Life and students lived in fear we would be haunted through our lifetimes with what might be recorded within this grave document.
Only in high school did I begin to question the existence of a Permanent Record. But doubts were strong enough that they served to keep me in line throughout my public school education.
A lifetime has passed and I have yet to be confronted with my Permanent Record in any job interview, induction into the US Army, upon joining a new group or, for that matter, at any juncture in my life.
So, I have decided that it is time, once and for all, to settle this haunting question of Permanent Records.
Citing various Freedom of Information laws that did not exist when I was a student but which now guarantee Americans the right to access every private record from their dental records to their school Permanent Records, I have asked the Public School Administration in the town where I grew up to furnish me with a complete and accurate copy of my Permanent Record.
Truth is at hand. If indeed there is such a record, I will learn, at last, if my sins have been recorded for posterity.
Does my PR contain the misdeeds of my youth? Does it recite the times I brought firecrackers to school and set them off at recess? Does it relate my indiscretions regarding shared homework assignments, etc.?
I now await anxiously for a response to my request for a copy of my Permanent Record.
I will let you know if I do indeed get a copy of the dark secrets contained in my Permanent Record and perhaps, I will even share the contents with you.
In the annals of human events, it is time that the mystery of the Permanent Record be settled once and for all.
My sister and I were talking recently about obituaries – the FINAL Permanent Record.
Obituaries consume much of the conversation for people our age. It is one of the first things we look for in the newspaper. As we grow older, more and more of our acquaintances pass on and, of course, we want to know about it when they do.
My sister was lamenting the fact there would be little to record by way of activities from her life. This is not true of course because she has led a full and useful life in every way. Nonetheless, we began to comment on the things some families include in the obituaries of their loved ones.
We decided that we would forego having our families write grandiose obituaries and prepare our own well ahead of our demise.
For instance, we did not want any nicknames used as in “Foster (Happy Dude) Gilligan” passed away. Or “Mary (Great Big Mama) Smith Succumbs.”
We also decided that we did not want platitudes used. I don’t think I have ever read of a Catholic dying without the word “devout” utilized. And have you ever read of a golfer passing on without the notation that he/she was an “avid” golfer or a Baptist who was not a “life-long” Baptist?
Not for us, my sister and I want just the basic facts reported.
We want our obituaries to say just plainly that we died, where the funeral will be held if enough people can be corralled to hold one and that we were “devout” members of AARP, “life-long” members of AAA and, furthermore, we were “avid” card-carrying members of Blockbuster Video.